Taking a step back
It’s officially lent and it’s taken me a while to figure out my routine. I like to take something on as well as give something up. One of the best reflections I have heard about lent is that lent is not meant for you to give up chocolate. There is a tricky part to Lenten disciplines. It’s important to have a practiced discipline and to exercise self-control, but you have to be careful to do it for the right reasons. For example, I could give up something like chocolate (popular discipline), but if I am doing that just to lose weight or because I think it might be easy, I would be doing it for the wrong reasons. However, if I give up chocolate to reflect and educate myself on the way corporations abuse workers and the environment in order to make it, it takes on a new meaning.
This lent, the bishop of Mississippi has thrown down a challenge to read the four gospels over the 40 days. Having been a person who has valued faith over scripture, I have decided to take this challenge on. Granted, in order to achieve this I will be required to read quite a bit each night, but I think it will be important for me to do this so that I can further my relationship with God.
I do think that the harder task I have given myself is to be optimistic about every day. My job teaching 7th graders has been the most stressful experience I have ever faced. I’m not used to being bad at something, but I find myself struggling to just get by and hope that my students are learning something at all. I have taken on a pessimistic view of the difference I feel that I am making. I have gained through this a profound respect and appreciation for all of my teachers throughout grade school. It’s not easy.
Lent is about stepping back and examining your life. Taking stock of what is important as well as what is lacking in your life is an important discipline. Understanding and recognizing parts of your life that inhibit the openness to Jesus and a relationship with God is a big part of stepping back. When I step back from my own life, I see that I am rushing through this part of my life, hoping for more fulfillments in the future. A friend of mine and I play the game of “future me.” Future Blount Montgomery never procrastinates, is fit enough to run a marathon (but chooses not to because Saturdays are writing days), and has written a couple of books that have done very well. While this is all fun and sometimes the game becomes completely in jest (future me is the owner of the New Orleans Saints, for example), there is something telling about this game. Too often we put off improving ourselves and becoming who we are meant to be until our future selves arrive.
For lent, I am going to put off thinking about my future self. For lent I am going to focus on the present me. For lent I am going to put all my being into being ready for Easter.
