Power-Through

A phrase that I keep finding myself saying these days is "power-through." It's been a philosophy of mine that whenever I face an obstacle, if I just persist and fight my way through it, it'll work out for the best. Lately, though, powering through as a way of life isn't quite working how it usually does.

It makes me second guess that philosophy. And, as a trained historian, I wonder if that philosophy is just what our culture has trained us to do. Pulling ourselves up by our own bootstraps and finding a way to make things work beyond all obstacles seems to be the way we earn respect in American society. Unemployed? You're not looking hard enough for a job. Depressed? Buck up and be happy with your situation because there are always people who have it off worse. Problems with your significant other? Just hang in there and make it work, like all the romantic comedies tell us to and it'll be ok.

The problem with powering through is that it leaves others and sometimes ourselves, in a painful wake. How many people, who are unsatisfied with their situations, just stick it out because they can't think of anything that could possibly be better for them? How many people keep saying to themselves, "when life gives you lemons, make lemonade." Why don't you try returning the lemons and finding something that you really like? Is it fear that holds us back from returning and searching for what makes us happy? I don't know.

When I first got back to Mississippi from California, I thought that I had been a failure. I found myself back in the South, a place where I cannot pursue what I feel like I could have pursued in California. I kept seeing California as a place where all my dreams could come true. Now, that might seem silly, but that's the honest truth. At first being back in the Bible Belt, where homophobic statements are made more often than not and disparaging comments about our President because of his race happen rarely, but are intense, made me feel like I had taken a step backward. My first inclination was to do whatever I could to get back out of the South. I deserved better, I kept telling myself. All I had to do was power-through and I would get what I wanted.

However, powering through to get out of the South again would mean leaving the people I care about. It would mean not seeing the good that Mississippi can offer. As many statements I have heard in the South that have upset me, there are equally disturbing statements made all around this country and all around the world. Plus, I have friends here in the South who know and love me for who I am. I have people who understand that the New Orleans Saints are the best team in the country, no matter what their record that year might be. I say "Mardi Gras" and people know the religious significance of it, and don't only associate it with Bourbon Street in the Crescent City. And on that note, I know people who know why New Orleans is called the Crescent City. Yes, there are things I would love for the South to change. But that's true of everywhere.

I see these things because my thinking is different now. I can't tell you the switch that made everything clearer to me than it had been before. What I can tell you, is that powering through leaves a wake because you're moving too fast. Pushing through when you should be slowly making steps can cause scars on relationships and your own well being. Sometimes it's the slow transitions that are necessary. Sometimes, no matter how much we would like to pick up and move out, move away as fast as we can, the challenge and call is to stay put. The call is to be there for your friends and to allow them to be there for you. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. At least the way I see it, it is. And I'm here for the long haul of change and challenges and rising (maybe a little more slowly than before) to the occasion.