So, my parents have always instilled in me that honesty is the best policy. Lately, every time I'm honest, I've been pushed aside and even fired. Silly, huh?
So, basically, my thoughts are that even though I'm transparent and honest, it's not always the best policy.
Seems kinda counter-intuitive? Especially considering that honesty is a virtue. If we're basing virtue on that, I'm super-virtuous.
Honest with my friends: not so good to be blunt even though my name is Blount
Honesty with my parents: don't even get me started (sorry Dad, I know you're reading this, and I guess Mom too)
Honesty with Doctors: I get hassled
Honesty with Employers: I got fired (thanks, Episcopal Service Corps)
So this all sounds cynical. And some days I am cynical. Mainly because we live in a society based around secrets and not honesty. We're based around success which ultimately is obtained by not being honest in most cases. Virtue is not an honor anymore. We seem to live to deceive and that's clearly not my style. So, what do I do? What can I do when I'm just trying to do the best thing possible and keep getting pushed out of the way?
On a good note: today is DOY council planning. Such a great group of High School Students trying their hardest to be leaders in a church that is continuously changing and a camp that is trying to change with it.
Personally, I still think honesty is the best policy. While I am not perfect, I try not to lie to people. I may on occasions chose not to speak or be deliberately vague if being blunt is not a good idea. Some might think it's deceptive, but I don't see it as such. Some people don't appreciate the truth, and those people generally are not worth you being helpful to them with an honest answer. So, I simply withhold an honest answer, rather than lying.
ReplyDeleteI am the guy who is going to tell a female friend how she actually looks in a dress knowing full well that I am risking my life. If they care enough about how they look to ask me, then I would rather that they be angry at me than go out looking like an ostrich or something (although, I rarely think they look bad and my advice is usually ignored anyway...). But on the other hand at work, I often hold my tongue on matters that are likely to be more trouble than they are worth (particularly because I am likely to lose those battles, which makes it pointless).
In the end, I would suggest you stay honest (At the least do it with me. I will always appreciate that from you). However, you might chose to simply be more selective in what you say or learn to bury things so deeply in diplomacy that it takes out any sting. Bluntness (while it sometimes has its uses) is not the same as honesty and integrity in my book. I think you can be more careful about one with out compromising the other.
-Wilson
Thanks Wilson. I'm usually a good judge on when to hold my tongue, although it frustrates me. I guess having more tact and resourcefulness would be best for me.
ReplyDeleteAs you both touched on (and as I have learned the hard way) it is often time more about how you say things than what you say. Some people, it seems, have this natural charisma and can get away with saying anything. Most people, however, do not have this luxury. I agree with Wilson, stay honest, but perhaps evaluate your communication style--especially during confrontation or topics of contention.
ReplyDeleteYits!
-Alison